Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
