eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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