You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
