He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
