She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
17 year olds will be the death of me.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
