I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
