I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
