I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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