But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
