Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
