I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
