so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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