its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize