Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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