i permit you to call me
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
