he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
