oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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