Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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