Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i used baking grease as lip gloss
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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