Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
