So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
as a side note pls kill me
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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