Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
