Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
