i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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