i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
