During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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