You're my little dorito
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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