If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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