it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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