shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
