We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
