My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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