it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
