bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
