i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
