My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Why is there bacon in the couch?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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