my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Someone came in the potted fern
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
