my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
