I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
