I am puke
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
