woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
