Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
