just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
