he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
