I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
