I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize