I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
i think i just lost a toe
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
