He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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