I'm jealous of your bromance
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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