I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize