Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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