Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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