i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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