UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize