The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Randomize
