You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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