I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
