the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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