He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
