After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
