I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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