Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
